None of us are naive to the fact that bullying is a real thing, in school, in mom-hood, in coaching, in umping…..and definitely not in playing the sport…..
You can’t and won’t always be the “cool” kid, the “greatest” player, the good grades, the “popular” jock…..
Find your crowd…..find THIER crowd!
As much as we might all be looking for our player to be the next “Wayne Gretzky” or “Big-Poppy”….they might not be…… but they MAY also be!
Giving them the opportunity of a lifetime isn’t a choice that comes easily, or without it’s own quarrels….
Its TME!
Its MONEY!
Its COMMITTMENT!
Its daily TRIALS and TRIBULATIONS!
Do THEY want it?
Do you YOU want it?
You HAVE to COMMIT! But SO DO THEY!
I know my kiddos are going to have a bad game, a bad inning, a “bad” season….
Focus on what you can control!
“You did _________so well”
“I understand why you felt ________”
“That must have been really hard!”
But the most important questions and conversations are those you’re seeking their insight…..
“What do you want to do to change that?”
“What can we do to support you to make those changes”
“Do you want to continue?” (Remember, you didn’t get into this to chase your dreams….but THEIR’S)
You are a sounding board as a parent….give them options…..and allow them the space to express themselves and their feelings
It’s all about action, attitude, support and willingness to adjust on all fronts (“Do we need to find a different team? An alternate location? Other opportunities? An alternate environment?
I have seen the constant….well my child doesn’t play for “local” rec, he isn’t used to the kids, they’re all so “close knit”, because they go to school together, so mine just doesn’t “fit in”
There are so many factors to that contribute to their “appearance”…
How do they show up?
-Are they prepared?
-Are they willing to put in the time?
-Are you willing to put in the time?
-Are they having an off day/week/month?
-Do they have a choice, option, or opinion? That you’ve heard?
I am the loudest proponent of ATTITUDE!!!!!! They can and will control their attitude, if you present it to them as an option!
Attitude: A kiddo who is being positive and kind is far less likely to be the “butt” of the joke or the “under-dog” of the team if they have the perspective and Positivity. You have to teach them “attitude control”.
You win as a team and you lose as a team, but you don’t get to choose your team (thats what try-outs are for). You CAN directly influence your teams ATTITUDE!
And eminating that statement is KEY!
The trials and tribulations of travel sports are not for the faint of heart. As a teamate, you show up positive, ready to support and ready to lead….These kiddos can and will do big things, give them the opportunity!
A positive outlook and attitude can change a player’s perspective, a parent’s perspective, a coach’s perspective, an umps perspective….but also the TEAMS!
Did they show up in their best form…
-adequate sleep
-decent nutrition (difficult to achieve on the road)
-with a positive attitude
-all their ducks in a row…..
the kiddo who is getting more playing time likely practices more, is showing more determination, AND is showing more positivity, want to participate and sportsmanship.
Particpation doesn’t mean you’re the number one hitter, catcher, pitcher or 3rd baseman!
Who showed up READY (probably early)
Gear in check (not meaning the most expensive equipment), but the MOST mentally and physically prepared
wearing a glowing smile, ready to take on the OPPOSING team and ready to uplift their teamates?
That TEAMATE who is reminding the dugout/sidelines to cheer, who is eminatingpostiivtity….who is cheering for ALL! They ARE your TEAMATES! Show that kiddo the difference in possibilities when posiivity is involved!
Bullying is going to happen…..no matter the sport…..no matter the team…..
Raise your kiddo to NOT stand for it, whether it’s them or a teammate. Give them the option and opportunity to speak out!
We’ve totally been there, the underdog team, the underdog player….We ALL have BEEN THERE!
Positivity is contagious, its audibly shared far less often than critique.(and we as parents are JUST as guilty)….
Change their NORM!
I am proudest and know all of those times spent on the sidelines have impacted my youngest, when he’s beckoning HIS teammate’s to cheer for whoever is up to the plate!
I didn’t tell him to do that…..that was a learned trait he’s seen in his big brother!
Be positive and be kind!
As a parent, as a spectator, as a teammate, as a coach, you are responsible for interacting in a positive manner…..and teaching our children to do the same.
Sometimes the team isn’t for you, or your kid….
Is this a commitment you’re all willing to participate in any longer?
Are there other teams better suited for your family?
Is there anything you can actually do about it?
Options:
-Enlist the coach/es
-Measure where your kid is at
-Measure where you’re at
-Now….what are you all going to do about it?
-And….Is the outcome acceptable?
NO?!?!-Find a different team/location/place
YES….GREAT! You do you, they do them, and you continue to support them to the best of your ability…..
BOTTOM LINE…..does your kid feel comfortable or passionate chasing their dreams in this environment?
If need be, move on…..its a blip in time…….. it’s a team…….did you learn something……did they learn something……
As their parent, you can’t allow them to perseverate and carry that dis-contempt and animosity towards the “team”, or their “peers”
Can they move past it?
They will not grow. They will not advance. They definitely will not thrive in a continued uncomfortable situation…..and if the players. coaches, attitudes, and circumstances aren’t changing….how is your kid supposed to?…. It‘s too much weight for them to carry in their developmental years, so find something that fits.
We are growing the best humans we can!
These are their moments
Their life lessons
Their opportunities
What is the benefit? And does it outweigh the cost?